専門家を諦める自分を許せたらラクになれた..

そうそう最近ラクになれたんだよ
先月7月7日に「ノリで生きて行こうと思う」と書いたそのとき↓

それは前向きに諦めてラクになった日
じつは昔から何かの専門家、専門性がなければ…と思ってたんだけど
悪く言えば器用貧乏で来てしまって
色々取り組んでみたもののどれもいまひとつ;
専門家..なんでも良いと思うんだけれどね
例えば整備士とか「士」がつく職や、得意なことで先生をやれそうなお仕事等
知人が華道の先生やってたり、他にレジン作品作りの先生をやっている人とかいて
そういうのとか?あれば良いんだけど
自分には何もない; まずいなーって思いながら結局いま広く浅い知識と器用貧乏が特徴になっていて
自分が自分で嫌になり全く自信が持てなかったんだけれど、
先ごろたまたま見かけたものに
広く浅い知識が活かせる分野もあるという発信を見かけて
あっ そうか!!と

へんな思い込みに気付いて、
別に専門家にならなくても大丈夫かもしれないと
考えを転換できたよ
そうしたら急に自己肯定感が上がり根拠のない自信も付いてきたw
それでYouTube も始める気持ちになれたんだよね
そんな流れ
何かのプロフェッショナルや専門家にならないとダメでは?という思い込みに長年ハマってしまっていたみたい
手放したらすごくラクになったよ、ずっとつらかったんだ
もう今はリフレッシュして自分を好きにもなれた

それから、
昔やりたかったこと、昔できなかったこと
今やってみようって取り組んでるよ
コスプレもそう
昔やりたくて出来なかったから…
変身ベルトみたいなのを買ってもらえなかったからとかw
こういう服着てみたかったんだ~!みたいなのを今やってる感じw
ダンスもそうだね、
昔やりたかったことを演じてる
もしかしたら昔やるより今やる方が高クオリティ+良い環境でやれてるかもしれないと思うw
もっと他にあればやりたいな
☆
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